A toxic element that eats away at life.
No matter what happens to me each day, I have decided that I will always forgive. I have decided not to be offended by words, actions or what I might perceive to be abusive, insulting, rude or hurting. I may still feel hurt but work at staying in peace.
Why do I do this? It is because I have been forgiven so much in my own life. Time and time again, my mouth has said things that I didn’t mean as offensive or cruel, but others have taken it to be mean spirited, judgmental or malicious. There have been times when I did mean to tell someone off or imply they needed to change when it was none of my business to be handing out such advice. Therefore, I need to be forgiving to others just as I have been forgiven.
When I find that it hard to forgive, when I want to hang on to an unforgiving spirit, or when I want to wallow for awhile in self-pity, I have to make a conscious decision to end such nonsense immediately before it begins to eat me up with resentment and bitterness. In such cases there are steps that I have found I must take.
First, I must assume full responsibility for my unforgiving feelings, even if the other person is in the wrong. Then, I have to admit to God that I have harbored resentment or that I have wished the other person would be punished in some way. I have to lay down my anger and do it repeatedly until the feelings of resentment are gone. Next, I decide to pray for the individual who hurt me.
Even after I have taken all these steps, a bitter spirit may still creep up on me. I still might have to cope with my feelings. I may have to start all over and follow the pattern to forgiveness. It also helps me to mediate on how often I have been forgiven by God and by other people who have had to put up with my failings.
I will remind myself over and over that feelings will not rule me. I will call to mind Scriptures that tell me that I do not need to carry around those vague guilt feelings that I have not been forgiven. I will exult these truths that I find in Scripture that tell me how much God loves me, how He takes my admitted sins and throws them into the deepest sea and then hangs out a "Absolutely No Fishing" sign. I don't have to try to keep on paying for sins that He has already paid for by the shedding of His blood. I will not wallow in my negative feelings. Sometime it will take some time to conquer feelings with the truth but as I continue to make it a daily practice, it gets easier and easier. I try to heed what Scripture says: “Don’t let the sun go down on your wrath.” I am glad the good Lord gives me a whole day to get over it.
Thank you, God for teaching me what it means to be forgiving, to be forgiven and for the strength to put those teaching into practice in my everyday life. Amen